Love Thy Neighbor? 25% Really Took That Too Literally

The ideal image of marriage is a commitment made for a life of cohabitation, trust, and the sharing of dreams. Yet real life will often crop that dream into something more practical than affectionate. Family demands, work-related obligations, social obligations and responsibilities, desire for autonomy, especially in contrast to intimacy, all conspire to take away from intimacy in a marriage. Communication turns into a logistical do-list, affection becomes habitual, and the marriage can feel emotionally flat, even if there is nothing really wrong to point to. This is the state that many of today’s married couples find themselves in not broken, just dulled.

“When connection fades and desire becomes background music, many people find they are left to ponder not why they feel this way but whom they could perhaps feel something with. The reality is that while infidelity is often portrayed as treachery in a relationship, the Gleeden Survey provides a much more nuanced, and refreshing look at the people married people are most likely to cheat with. The results are not only enlightening, they are so close to home.” says Sybil Shiddell, Country Manager Gleeden India.

Your Best Friend may very well be their Worst Secret

The survey finds the most popular person for married people to have affairs with, is not a stranger; it is a friend. Over 60% of respondents revealed their affair was with someone already in their friendship circle. Not just emotional familiarity, but feeling those layers of access, comfort, and history that don’t have to be established. There is a distinct kind of safe space that can exist in friendships; a space that is based on acceptance, trust, and much of the time, unquantified, emotional intimacy. When romantic relationships become as overwhelming as a task list, the emotional connectivity of a friendship can quickly ignite into something else. And once the line is crossed, it doesn't feel like cheating in the true sense of the word, it feels like something that just happened.

From Meeting Rooms to Messy Rooms

It turns out that work isn't just a place to chase promotions, or higher salaries, it is equally a place for many people to chase passion. According to Gleeden, 36% of affairs are initiated and happen with a co-worker. Since people generally spend 8 hours a day at work, relationships might be inextricably linked, as this collaborative setting often necessitates deep, constant communication, including emotional intimacy through shared vulnerability in difficult moments, coffee breaks cajoled by colleagues, or all-nighters completing a deadline. It is less rebellious and more about the undeniable proximity. When professional relationships provide validation, and absence at home goes unnoticed, the heart often follows, or pursues where the attention flows.

It is about more than who, it's also about where. The survey results reveal that those in Tier 1 cities, including Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore, and Hyderabad, report infidelity at significantly higher rates than those in Tier 2 cities such as Indore, Kochi, or Patna. Urban loneliness, frenetic lives, and greater social exposure may all be shaping not just how we find emotional fulfilment, but also whether or not we find it at all, within marriage. In a metro with double the population, and where everyone is chasing their best self, relationships can take a backseat - when emotional needs are not fulfilled, the search for something external ensues, not because someone may be malicious but because they simply need emotional fulfilment.

It's Not About The Other Person

Perhaps the most important finding from the Gleeden Survey isn't just who a person might cheat with but why. The motivations are strikingly personal: feeling neglected or uncared for, desires to feel attractive, wanting emotional intimacy, or needing the excitement of new adventure that feeling in love brings. An important point is often they are not even cheating because they want to fall in love again rather it is due to a desire to feel visible. Feel desired. Feel alive. Those seeking affairs are not always there to not their partner, they are there to recover something they are missing out on. Something that may even be buried deep within the pasture of sacred memories.